FVP Books or at least some of our featured authors are hoping to be part of @BurningCatCon in Portland in May 2020. As part of our quest for a table, I’m sending this digital offering to Catleesi, the massive Cat Sculpture that will preside over the event. #BurningCat Fitting to the season, here’s a reprise of my entry into a Holiday Terrible Poetry contest run by blogger, Chelsea Owens. I didn’t win since the rhyme and rhythm was critiqued as ‘too good,’ but I’m hoping it’s also good for a laugh. Hohoho…

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the office

The peeps were all fluey and all full of coughses

Their eyes hung in bags with bulging lids droopy

Their answers to emails were all nincompoopy

They swallowed more syrup and dreamed of their beds

While blurred visions of monitors multiplied in their heads

The holiday was coming, they leaned upon that

While doing their darndest not to barf in their hats

A bottle of OJ, another pain pill

They pushed around paper, just an hour to kill

Away to the door they stumbled in stupors

A stop at the party and boy were they poopers

At last up their driveways they wove their way home.

And fell in their beddi-byes to spend Christmas alone.

-by Sheri J. Kennedy, yes that’s the entity All Rights Reserved (though hardly deserved)